SOUTH AFRICAN GOVERMENT

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her

altitude and spotted a man in a boat below.



She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I

would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."



The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air

balloon, approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet

above sea level. You are at 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude

and 100

degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."



She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a DA supporter!"



"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"



"Well," answered the balloonist," everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to do with your information, and I'm still

lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."



The man smiled and responded, "You must be an ANC Government official"



"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"



"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you are going.

You've risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You

made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect me to

solve your problem. You're in exactly the same position you were in

before we met, but somehow, now it's my fault."

Garbage Bage

TWO GARBAGE BAGS??



A little old lady, is walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips and, every once in a while, a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her and says, “Ma'am, there are $20 bills falling out of your bag.”

“Oh, really? Darn!” says the little old lady. “I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me...”

“Well now, not so fast.” says the cop... “How did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?”

“Oh no.” says the little old lady. “You see, my back yard is right next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his thing through the fence, I say, “$20 or off it comes!””

“Well, that seems only fair.” laughs the cop. “OK, good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?”

“Well, you know,” says the little old lady, “not everybody pays.”